I mean blog with words & not pictures? Or are words so foreign now, they’re losing their meaning? I remember when I first started blogging, on Blogspot. I always wanted to write. Always had a tale to tell, always had someone’s tale to read. I found comfort in bonding with people around the world who understood how I was feeling. People who “been there, done that” and didn’t mind sharing their experiences. Idk. It’s not the same to me anymore.
this will forever be my favorite Wale song. The lyrics are too real.
“Queen, you deserve the title but she rejects what I give, while she nurse the wounds by them,
Tried them, didn’t work, got impossible standards, nothing I’m a do is gon’ work,
Diary of a black girl”
I’ve been trying to sit here and write all day, but my mind keeps wandering elsewhere. Where exactly it’s going, I have no clue. But I wish it would stabilize. Shit I don’t even know what’s the point of this blog post … Probably just a way to distract me from writing. Probably? Definitely. Blahhhh.
My mother use to run this song to the ground when her & my stepfather started going through their issues. *singing* so three snaps up, three snaps down wanna be treated like a king you better wear the crown
Friday night & my mind is flooded with memories triggered by the chicken & broccoli my dad brought me home for dinner. How can something so simple cause a flood of emotions? And why am I not somewhere drinking & making any memories of the night nonexistent?
Am I the only person who just realized how good Nas looks? Jesussss. Lol.
Sitting here, listening to Pandora and attempting to write I get a text message from my baby sister. Granted she’s only 9, but she always brightens my day with how advanced she can be with communicating. Anyway, she tells me how a boy in school said he would like her if she got rid of her glasses. I instantly went into big sister mode wanting to tell her “fuck him” like I would have told one of my friends. But having to keep it PG, I told her if someone doesn’t like you with your glasses on that means they don’t like you at all.
That bothers me. Mainly because I remember when I first got my glasses when I was 11 and the first boy I really liked told me the same thing. I actually attempted to walk around with no glasses on to please him, but realizing I was half blind without them quickly put things into retrospect. It’s funny how history repeats itself and there’s nothing you can do to change it. Except try to tell her that people have to love you, for you or else the love isn’t real. But of course, she’ll make her own mistakes and learn her own lessons. I just want to prevent the mistakes, but I know that’s impossible.
I did feel reassured when she gladly added, “I dont like him he is uglyyy!!!! NO THANK YOU” Lol.
If I started to tell him about the first time I met him, he’d dismiss me as a creep, probably trying to figure out how do I remember these things.
Or how did I know in that brief second our eyes connected that a story line would unfold.
And I’d tell him I didn’t know.
But I was infatuated since that first day.
Well night, the moon shining in the dark sky, welcoming the midnight hour.
A room full of people, but all I seen was you.
All I seen was your smile the minute you entered a room.
I felt the electricity in your touch the second you brushed past me.
I wanted to grab your hand and dance at the slowest pace, my breasts on your chest, your hands on my waist.
I think you can become the rebound without even knowing it. You become the girl he calls every night when the one he loves is no longer in his life. But you don’t realize it though. Because he never openly says it. He makes your relationship seem platonic. Until you realize you’re being used and you’re catching feelings … The rebound girl is never winning. & she never knows she was just a rebound ..
—Joe Budden
